Some things are out of my control.

View from my popsicle stick garden.

Yesterday I went to a Parkinson's support group. It was one of the most positive experiences of late. My clinical instructor leads out for every other monthly meeting, so this was my first time. Parkinson's patients and spouses, caregivers and therapists, we all sat around a table of fruit - sharing experiences...things that work and things that don't, exercises, medication balances, and sources of motivation.

Not to mention that my favorite professor from PT school spoke at the end of the meeting, and I may or may not have a pretty big crush on him. Side note.

One recurring theme that came up a number of times was the aspect of being on a schedule. As a person with Parkinson's takes dopamine, they begin to have periods of on- and off-times. During on-times the medication is more effective in controlling the motor symptoms and during off-times the person becomes very stiff, slow and may even be unable to move. People began to speak to how living on a schedule was helpful in controlling the on- and off-times. One lady stated, "Sometimes I stay up later than I should because it's quiet and I can get more stuff done. But it's never good in the long-term because it just throws me off in the days that follow."

And that really struck a chord with me because I've been trying to adhere to a pretty strict schedule myself. For the past 1.5 years, I've had difficulty with migraines. Right now I have about 20 migraines per month. I've been on 8 different preventative medications, not counting the meds I take when I get a migraine. I still haven't found a good solution, but I have found gastric reflux, night sweats, appetite and weight loss, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, rebound headaches, and much more in the side effects of these meds. And so I do everything else in my power to control the situation by drinking lots of water, restricting certain foods, getting plenty of exercise, eating at regular times, and going to bed and waking up at the same time. That last one is the hardest for me and I'm not very good about sticking to it. I'm already an old person by nature - I love going to bed early - but I hate it when there are fun things going on and I want to stay up. People tease me for going to bed early, and it's all well-meaning and I joke about it too, but it's hard.

It was good for me to hear that other people have the same struggles. Their lives are scheduled by a disease. They would prefer to live it another way. But they pick up and move forward, and they do so gratefully.

I wanted to hang on to their positivity. Because on this journey I've got no better choice.

Migraines out of control, life scheduled... I'm grateful for you, friends and family, while I look for the control.